Posted by: yankeegirlguy | May 31, 2007

Yankee-aholics Anonymous

Hello.  My name is YankeeGirl, and I’m a Yankee-aholic.  I should’ve known I was prone to Yankee-aholism; my father suffered from the affliction for as long as I can remember (though it didn’t seem like suffering at the time).  Until high school, though, I only watched the Yankees socially – with friends, at parties.  Today, it’s a full-blown addiction.  I hang out with Yankee Guy- who enables my addiction with one of his own.  I wake up each morning thinking about last nights game,I hide my addiction at work as I surf the sports sections of the Daily News and the Post and listen to afternoon games on the internet, I rationalize loss after loss by blaming them on injuries, Joe Torre, the pitching staff, Joe Torre, the weather, karma and Joe Torre.  And did I mention the denial?  Somehow, every game, I’m convinced that it’s going to be the one that “turns this thing around.”  Denial, actually, is my favorite- because it’s why I’m still having fun with this ridiculous, painful addiction.

As for my Yankees- I have a few things to say to them tonight (PS- they’re actually winning- maybe this will be the game we turn things around!!!):

Alex Rodriguez- dammit!  I’ll admit, I enjoy looking at your phenomenal ass, I do NOT, however, enjoy looking at you acting like a phenomenal ass on the back page of the New York Post!  What ever happened to discretion?  Is it that hard to go in the back entrance while mystery-ho goes in the front?  Cynthia Rodriguez, you better get an f-ing dazzling apology rock on your right hand for that one!  Alex is a smart guy, but sometimes I wonder.

Doug Mientkiewicz – Look at me!  I can spell your name without any help! What do I win?

Derek Jeter- if it were up to me I’d swipe that captains badge right off you!  Come on Captain Cliche- what is it you do as captain?  You’re awesome, I won’t take that away from you, but how about removing your lips from Joe Torre’s ass long enough to shout some sense into your slumping teammates- aren’t Captains supposed to be motivators?

DeSalvo- Not bad for a newbie, but watch your balls buddy… watch your balls.

SO the Yankees FINALLY got a win- I’m looking forward to hearing something other than “We need to play better.. we’re just not putting runs on the board… the XX’s pitcher had great stuff tonight” in the post game.  To all Yankee-aholics, tonight we didn’t fall deeper into last place…. Cheers!


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