Posted by: yankeegirlguy | June 25, 2007

Field Trip with Yankee Kid

So being that the 2007 baseball season has disastrously followed the path of a Lohan Coke Binge, I have had to find other ways to enjoy the season while things have been going poorly. This year I have been able to derive this by having the pleasure of training a new Yankee Fan about the game of baseball.  Just so you know, Yankee Guy hasn’t knocked anyone up (thank god) or even adopted a child.  No, Yankee Guy has undertaken an arduous task that goes right up there with summiting Mt. Everest, swimming the English Channel, or getting the Yankee Girl to use L’Oreal skin care products. 

My protoge’s nickname is Yankee Kid.  Yankee Kid is my roomate and one of my best friends.  Now to say he was not knowledgeable about the Yankees before the season began is an understatement.  Not speaking in hyperbole, Yankee Kid thought the ace of the staff for the Yankees was Jim Abbott.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Throughout the year he has become more and more knowledgeable so I figured a good activity on a lazy Saturday in June would be to hit up a tour of Yankee Stadium. Here is what happened.   

Since we got up to the Bronx about 45 minutes early for the tour, I decided to bring the child to a place all overweight kids like to eat. MMMMM nothing says classy like McDonalds in the Bronx. Naturally Yankee Kid ordered a vegetarian happy meal.

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(Note this is the first time I have been inside a McDonald’s in 3 plus years.  I made some comments in there that almost got me beat up.  Also notice McDonald’s view of what a Yankee should look like in the statue behind Yankee kid.  A Giambi replica maybe?)

 Yankee kid sees a jersey of his favorite player, Don Mattingly in the team store.

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Ohhh looks like I found Yankee Girl a birthday present for next year, provided she rescinded all of her views of style, moved to Ohio, and became white trash.  Then this would be perfect.

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As you can see below, Yankee Kid is praying in front of the Mickey Mantle Monument in Monument Park. One short year ago Yankee Kid almost killed Yankee Guy when we were discussing the Yankees imminent plans to build a new stadium and move next door. Yankee Kid all of the sudden got very nervous about the Yankees move and asked “What are the Yankees going to do with all the bodies at the stadium?”

Yankee Kid thought that  thought that all great Yankee players who died were ACTUALLY BURIED in monument park, and that the Yankees was a graveyard out there.  Not wanting to break the kid’s spirit we still haven’t told him the truth.

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Another of him praying.  Yankee Kid is actually agnostic or an athiest.  I forget which.

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 Yankee Guy reenacting a very welcome sight – A Scott Proctor relief appearance.  Yes I am a Scott Proctor fan.  And yes I own a Proctor T-Shirt.  Yankee Girl loves him too, even after his off the field indiscretions.  We are both wierd.

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 What is Yankee Guy thinking in the pic below?  Here are a few choices:

“Will this season ever turn around?” 

“Can I  upgrade my season tickets to right here?”

“Have I structured my portfolio in a way which i have, reduced portfolio risk?”

“What was a worse choice eating at McDonald’s today or dating my ex-girlfriend?”

“Why the hell did Mariano have to throw the ball into centerfield in Game 7?”

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Keep in mind the following conversation before you see the Yankee Kid strategizing on the Yankees bench. 

Yankee Kid: “Do you think Doug Mientkiewitz will ever throw a no hitter?”

Yankee Guy: “I don’t know it would be the first time in history a first baseman ever threw one.”

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Yankee Kid wants Derek Jeter win the Superbowl by scoring the most points for touchdowns.

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Yankee Kid has named New Yankee Stadium,  Third World Country Stadium, due top the fact that it looks shitty and isnt put together.  Yankee Kid is a racist.

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All in all we had a great time at Yankee Stadium this Saturday.  Later in the day I broke my remote watching the game versus the San Francisco Giants where we lost in 13 innings. Not even 5 Vodka Sodas at the W were enough to ease the sting of that loss.

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