Posted by: yankeegirlguy | July 9, 2007

Dissections- Girls and Baseball, an inning by inning view

When bringing someone to a baseball game, you sometimes need to remember that not everyone is a super-fan like yourself. While I personally bring my dad and brother to a decent amount of games I would say 65% of the time I end up going to a game with a girl. Now not every girl you know really likes the nuances of baseball. Whether you are bringing your sister, girlfriend, mom, or just a friend to a game, they usually don’t appreciate a player hitting a sac fly or moving the runners over. Below is an inning by inning view of what happens when you bring a girl who “likes going to baseball games” to a Yankee game.

1st Inning

This one is pretty easy as you find your seats and continue your chatter from the subway ride in. Usually you are a little late, so all you end up doing is looking around the stadium, and point out the star players on the field.

2nd Inning

This is the time in the game where you usually settle into your seats and chat for a bit. You explain a couple rules, talk about the game a little. If it is your family member you begin to discuss relatives, if it is your friend you begin to gossip about them. A pretty lighthearted inning.

3rd Inning

So you’ve been sitting there for almost 45 minutes and it is 95 degrees out. You have seen roughly 45 vendors walk by. Inevitably this is the inning you go and grab some food and beer. This is the inning where you as a guy can determine how much fun the rest of the game will be. Because everyone knows more beer equals more fun at a baseball game, this is a crucial time.

4th Inning

Chow down on some food and drink. Start to feel the effects of your “Giant Beer.” For those of you who don’t know the extra $1 to make it a “Giant size” is ALWAYS worth it.

5th and 6th inning

For the non-fan girl this is the doldrums of the game. Luckily for you, the beer is kicking in, making both you and her more chatty. This is where if you bring a family member you start asking them about their jobs/social life/family.

A friend/girlfriend/date- this is where you start both being getting crazy, making fun of other fans in your section, cracking jokes talking about friends, etc. Basically you are doing anything to advert their attention from the fact that the are bored with the game that is tied at 1 and is a pitchers dual.

Here comes the Great Subway Race/Hat Game/Yankee Fan Marquee/The Wave. I am convinced these things were all created for this reason.

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“Baseball takes too long and I want an ice pop”

7th Inning

Again you are saved by another cheer “Take me out to the ball game.” Takes over the middle of the 7th inning and every single person remembers this cheer from 2nd grade. During the top of the 7th you alertly made a beer run, as you know they cut off sales in the middle of the inning. The best play now is the smaller beer as you don’t need to be carrying your sister back to the subway or holding your friends hair as they vomit back in your apartment.

8th Inning

This is where the intense decisions start to be made. Usually depending on game score/weather/after game plans, this is where you sense her getting antsy and decide whether you should “Stay til the end or go.” A little part of you dies inside when you decide to go, so you try to hold on as long as possible, even if you are down 7-2.

9th Inning

Oh wow this is an exciting game! Your team just tied it up in the bottom of the 9th with some clutch hitting. Abreu roped a double that scored Melky from 2nd base, and now it is tied at 4. You are elated and as the game spills into the 10th inning, guys are usually excited that they are watching extra baseball for free. The girl, meanwhile, is ticked off that they don’t get to go home yet. “I’m cold, I’m tired, and this is stupid.” So the guy usually has to play the guessing game: “Okay, if they don’t score this inning, then we’ll go home.” This is my least favorite game ever.

You go home after the bottom of the 10th, and turn on YES to find out that the Yankees won it with a Jeter home run in the 11th. You are elated they won, but pissed you weren’t there. So is the life of being a guy.

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The official hat of the girl “fan”

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Responses

  1. *Laughs hysterically* This is all way too true. You hit nail on the head. Baseball is just one of those sports where if you’re not really into it, you’ll wonder why you took the train all the way to 161st & River to go watch the most prestigious franchise in America win or lose (more losing nowadays! grrr!)


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